girlofprey

The Achievement Hunter crew were heroically trying to continue with a livestream despite everything going on in their nation's capital, but they have now ended it so they can pay more attention to the news.

Well.

I just want to crawl away and hide.

I got maybe 2 hours of sleep last night. I toyed with the idea of staying up - till we got the 'all clear' - but decided there wasn't much point since we wouldn't know anything till the morning. I woke up about 5 o'clock, then was just awake till I heard my parents puttering around downstairs. I heard the news on, and knew there would be a clearer idea, and I still wanted to sleep, but after about 10 minutes of waiting tensely I decided to go ask my mum what was happening. She gave me this look, and I knew. Then she gave me a 'it's bad news' face, and I really knew. She said it wasn't over, but not looking good. I laid in bed, trying to get back to sleep, but literally the only way I could keep myself from panicking was by forcibly counting sheep. It turns out I did that for three hours.

I don't know how this happened. I don't know how a day can be so different from the day that came before it.

I'm still trying not to panic. I don't know how people can be so full of hate. I'm still sort of angry and in blaming mode. Who do I blame? Bernie Sanders, a little bit, for the 'Bernie or bust' stuff - people who rely on the apocalypse to convince people they're right often get it. Anyone who voted third party - why? In this election, why? The news, a lot - because the news outlets that aren't outright owned by the right-wing media are generally, these days, a business, and it's in their interests to try to steer people towards disasters, because that makes for better headlines. It's in their interests to pretend serious things aren't that serious, that things like elections are hopeless, that the bad social things that are about to happen aren't that bad. So they can report on it when it all goes wrong. Anyone who voted for Trump obviously, but so many of them are crazy it's really the people who are like "well, he's a bad guy, but I always vote Republican/vote for my wallet" the worst, the actual worst.

( What I'm scared of. Tw for misogyny, murder, rape )

And even outside of that, I'm scared of what effect this is going to have on everyone else. Because every guy, every guy, who feels like grabbing a women's pussy is going to feel validated. Everyone who attacks people of colour or Muslims for having an opinion is going to feel validated. And I want to think "it's for four years, maybe it'll be fine, maybe it'll be over after that", but the truth is that if people don't outright take on right wing ideas, they're going to get used to them again, to allowing them. And we are going to lose progress. At best, we are going to lose progress.

I'm trying to think of any positives. Number one: he's incompetent, and apparently the economy took a nosedive when it even looked like he might win, so he might lose the support of the "we're voting with our wallets" people pretty quick. Although he'll probably just blame the rest of the world for being against America. Number two: when he actually has the job and isn't just speaking at his own rallies, people will probably be less likely to accept him constantly changing his story and not taking any responsibility for anything. Number three: he's such a shill and chases attention so much that anything that is genuinely unpopular with the American people, in practise, is probably something he's going to drop. Unless he gets mad and petty and decides he's just going to do it anyway.

I want to believe this is going to be okay. I want to believe he won't genuinely do anything that bad, this'll just be the 'Donald Trump show' for the next four years, and posing around is going to be good enough for him. But for the next four years, I think I'm going to be constantly waiting for the first nuclear strike. So. Yeah.

I just wrote out my appeal form. They give you the tiniest space to write your reasons why you don't agree with their decision. Which is largely how I felt about the assessment form - although apparently I was some good at filling that in this time. Maybe I just feel like I have A LOT OF REASONS to give them. But I think I got at least some relevant points through, and it's completed now at least. Now I just need to send it out so it will get to Barnsley before Monday. Sigh.

I also caught up with Dallas yesterday, and then watched the final episode. ( Dallas )

The new series apparently begins in America in January. So obviously I either need to get downloading, or really enjoy these few months of being all caught up before I lose them again.

We also had the American election this week. I am happy and genuinely a little bit amazed that Obama won. As well as all the 'shenanigans' I'd been hearing about, things sort of came to a head on Tuesday night when I started seeing posts on Tumblr about how people were taking pictures of their pro-Obama ballots and posting them online because they were so excited, but that they shouldn't do that, because they could be arrested and have their votes annulled. I was ready to give up, get ready for Romney to win, and be all "2012, End Of Days". But then Obama won. And apparently it wasn't even close. So hurrah.

I also finished Portal, and bought Portal 2. I liked the song at the end. A LOT. And while I was looking for Portal 2 (in vain) in my home town, I found out that the little games shop I used to see when I was a teenager was still open, and both stocking and selling Bioshock action figures! It was a good day all around.

And we had my YN over at my house today. He is sweet, and can pull himself up on furniture, and make lots of noises now. And point. At one point he looked up at one of our houseplants, pointed at it and went "Aaah!", and then went back to playing with his cars. He plays with cars by pushing them along and going "aaaaaaah" or "grrrrrrrrr". He is lovely. I also learned that my mum thinks he's "weird". Which, in fairness, is something I would expect a sitcom granny to say about their baby grandchild, so at least we're living up to the stereotype, thanks mum.

And I saw a bit of Emmerdale today with Declan in it, and it gave me Declan/Nathan feelings. Sigh.

And I had a dentist appointment today, which went quite well, with quite a lovely new lady dentist. It was her first day apparently. She didn't make any mistakes which could only be covered up by saying "It's my first day!". Yay. And we had Bonfire Night, which means we're now in the period of time I officially recognise as Pre-Christmas. Argh. And...something. I'm on my period, and I'm really tired. Oh, and I attempted to buy trousers from H&M, and I found out that of all the weird sizing issues there are from shop to shop, H&M might just take the cake for 'obviously a lot smaller than the number would imply'. And yet I also tried a jumper from there, and the Large was too big for me so I had to get a Medium. Weird.

So maybe I bought those watch parts. What of it? Actually, I was outbid on the first lot, and then the second identical lot I found from the same seller. But the third bid was apparently just right.

There's no new Heroes today because of the Election, isn't there? Americans and the GODAMNED DEMOCRACY. Why can't they just have a nice peaceful coup like everyone else?